He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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