is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can I color on your dick again?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
