i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
