did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
