did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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