I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
