Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
