Pappa wants mamma naked
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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