I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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