NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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