you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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