She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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