I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
