my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
