i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
