I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
