I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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