I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
