wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
