it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
