You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
