Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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