Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
