I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Found your dick twin last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
