id be glad to
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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