somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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