Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
