just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize