you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
