He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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