their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
