I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize