you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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