Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
