so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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