thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
