I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
