No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
