No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
