Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
