Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
