You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
