they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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