I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
