Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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