JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
