i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
