He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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