Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
