If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize