There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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