The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
