32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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