Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
