Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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