No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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