I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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