Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
