i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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