I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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