So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You dont lie about slip and slides
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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