OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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