I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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