If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
