i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
