I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
