while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
