put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
