There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
