i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
