I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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