Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
